: Youth

NATURE OR NURTURE

puberty was a fantastic time for me and a terrible time for my brother Frey (his somewhat inappropriate nickname but adopted long before puberty) :: and lots of that was genetic, with both of us subject to the tyranny of DNA.

sex mad – we both were – and with a brother a couple of years older there were always plenty of his friends to indulge my fantasies on :: and, of course, he was attracted to some of my friends, especially the ‘mature’ ones

attractive – he wasn’t and i was – and there were many times we would delve into our contrasting experiences :: he felt it was extremely unfair to be blessed with a passionate sex drive (like mine it turned out) and with limited opportunities to express it :: not that he was ugly, just rather plain and a bit of a nerd (before we knew the word)

the first time – Rob was one of my brother’s friends and the differences between Rob and Frey were significant :: Rob was a bit weedy but very self-confident and a poet and an energetic musician :: plus a self-assurance that could turn a young girl’s head, in this case mine

the seduction – of course, i did not fully know what would come, but was secretly pleased when Rob paid some attention to me one evening at a bbq party during school half-term :: it would not have seemed important to others but to my young 15-year-old heart his whispered “i’ll call you tomorrow” was wonderful

the scene – being friends of my brother, Rob knew our house was usually empty on Mondays :: he told me to shower and get into the double bed in our spare bedroom, completely naked except for a couple of chunky bracelets i often wore

the action – thanks to my DNA and frequent bouts of masturbation frenzy over the previous couple of years, it was inevitable i would stroke myself while waiting for Rob :: he was very pleased to find a very moist and willing partner waiting for his arrival :: yes i was a bit coy and unsure of myself, however plenty of films and gossip with girlfriends meant the mechanics of the act were known :: the occasional fumble in the dark at a party or a movie meant i also understood the ‘properties’ of a cock

the feelings – okay, maybe this is where my DNA let me down, cos i felt totally willing to do the deed and expected it to be another milestone in the growing maturity of Bronwen :: i didn’t expect the feelings to overtake me and the friction and pumping to unleash such passion :: just to be clear, the word is passion and not love :: i wasn’t in search of love or even romance :: my teenage life was straght-forward with goals and milestones, plus a bit of sex experience on the side :: but Rob’s focus on the craft of sex (i still don’t know where he learnt it all) was a magic combination that managed to please him and me in almost equal measure

the aftermath – my mind was on fire, along with every other erogenous zone, and the battle between ordinary life and my yearnings was a bit unsettling :: being athletic and accustomed to working my body hard there were many times over the next weeks when i would be running or swimming or cycling and putting all my sexual energy into that activity, with the results you can imagine :: once or twice a fortnight it was possible for Rob and i to have another session, navigating private space between school and family demands :: and each time was just as much a liberation as the first

the science – my mental sex life has remained at full speed since that time and maybe there is a volume control on a sex gene somewhere, which in the case of my brother and i seems to be turned pretty high :: we both have vivid, colourful dreams and often of a sexual nature :: we both go through times of little physical sex and yet our arousal and desire stays high :: chance encounters or scenes of films or passages in books can set either one of us onto a fantasy script which in some cases can be developed and refined over weeks or even months :: and that creative rush does appear cyclical, which makes sense for those of a female persuasion altho my brother says he has a real high spot on a regular cycle as well

the learning – my experiences suggest i am predominantly heterosexual altho i regularly enjoy sensual times with girlfriends or even one-night-stands :: these range from spa days or weekends with plenty of massage and closeness, right through to rubbing against a player at a gig or club and occasionally ending up in a torrid lesbian sesson for an hour or even 48 :: as to men friends the current commercial culture in most countries mean my relationships have lasted some months and in a couple of cases a couple of years, not least because i have moved countries a lot over the years :: the sex and passion has been great quite often and i am quite happy to take some of the credit for that :: there have been other Robs (and Robertas) who have helped push the boundaries a bit further (more to follow) and now i am ready for just about anything that comes along in the way of erotic experience